Friday, May 17, 2013

Favorite photo day...

A favorite photo of yourself and why

Well I take wayyyyy too many pictures. There are three that pop into mind so here goes...

I like this picture because i was skinny young and free. This picture kind of represents who I am. Coffee cup (a Christmas one at that), a good book and being outside. I was about to go on a date with my then boyfriend, now husband and we were going fishing. Those were some good ole days :)
I love this picture. It has always been one of my favorites. Josh and I had only been dating a few months and I remember this night being so fun on my parent's deck out back. We all just drank some beers and hung out. I obviously wasn't shy to be myself since I'm wearing sweats and two kinds of reds that look awful together haha. But we both look so happy.
Obviously this picture quality is not good, and was taken on my phone before I had a nice phone, and before instagram. But I still love this picture. This was taken on my actual due date, (Oct 4th) and Levi was still cookin'. I wanted to get out of the house so Josh took me fishing. This was our last date before meeting our little man. If you want to see how much of a basketball Levi was, look below..
That's all :)

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Babies & Textbooks

Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it

Okay I'm late on this whole blog every day in May. I haven't been blogging every day, but i've been reading blogs every day, that counts right? Right.

Something difficult about my "lot in life" right now is this whole being a Mama and finishing my degree right now. Honestly I try not to complain because I do get more time home with Levi than I would working a full time job, and I get to have my family and close friends watch him while I'm in class. That in itself is pretty cool. But at the same time it is really tough. I hate not being able to help provide for my family. Lets be honest if my Hubs was a doctor I would love to stay home with my babes and take on that role, but my Hubs isn't a doctor, and well that's not an option for us. Which is completely fine with me. Its hard to sit back and watch my Husband work tons of overtime to provide for us. He is physically and mentally exhausted. I recently found out I have 2.5 years rather than over a year to finish. Don't get me started about advisors and their inability to provide correct information. I have about had it with inaccurate plans advisors have given me in my schooling.

I did the whole search a hundred jobs online with my partially finished degree and other options to just get out of school and work. Nothing is realistic or long term and would help our family a few years from now. So my husband and I talked and decided welp the best option for us long term is for me to finish my degree and Josh stay at this job until i'm finished. If we have to be tight on money for a few more years, God will provide. My heart hurts because I know what its like to be at a job you hate, and josh hates his job. But what can ya do? He's such a trooper and rarely complains.

I really feel like God has a plan for me to finish my Special Ed Degree and I keep praying the reward is greater in the end. If I can only trust God's plan and have faith in the end product, we can make it through. Instead of focusing on the school debt I keep piling up and the credit card debt and lalalalala I'll be able to push through. I know in the end it will all be worth it. But this point in our life is tough. Its stressful. Its straining. Its not ideal. And its hard with a toddler for real for real.
I'm thankful for my faith, for my supportive husband, family and friends, and the strength to make it to the end. And the end will come. Hopefully sooner than later. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

Patience is a verb--

It has been a while since I've blogged and since yesterday was Mother's Day and I actually did pictures, I figured why not share my day/thoughts about being a Momma.
Levi and I have shared our second Mother's Day yesterday-Well three if you count when I was pregnant.
He has brought me so much joy and an undescribable love that touches my soul.
It is a kind of love that is refreshing, every single day. In those moments of pure mama exhaustion, worry and stress, Levi manages to throw his arms around my neck and kiss my cheek, or laugh so hard for minutes upon minutes. These are the moments that refresh me and keep me going.

Levi and I connect on a level that literally takes my breath away sometimes because even after 19 months + 9 carrying him, it is still surreal to me that I am a mama to this amazing little boy...and it feels like such a gift and a blessing.

I already believe in him, and his abilities. I know he is going to be an amazing kid, because he already is. I relate so much to his personality already and it is only the beginning.

Sometimes I notice others placing judgements on Levi because he is 19 months and not independently walking yet, only says a small handful of words, and doesn't verbally answer to what the animals or shapes are etc etc. But I think of it as a math problem: This is my kid:
Never cries or throws tantrums
Takes naps and goes night night with no problems, soothing himself
Chooses to eat fruits and veggies over snacky foods
Knows a few signs for sign language
Slept eight hours through the night as a newborn and now sleeps 12
Takes two naps a day
Would rather snuggle and kiss or play outside than watch a TV show
Loves brushing his teeth, reading bedtime stories, and taking baths
Rides in the car silently and travels great with no crying or fussing and only a few toys to keep him company
Warms up to strangers within minutes
Mama & Daddy have very laid back personalities
The most laid-back, easy going toddler I know.
He is so smart and may not be saying 20 words but understands what we say. He may not be walking yet, but he sure knows how-and when he's ready he will. He may take his time with everything he does, but since when is that a negative? I think its a positive thing. Growing up is not a race. Levi has taught me this :)
I get frustrated when people underestimate him or try to constantly test him to see where he's at because if they knew him they would know that he gets it.
He is so so smart and always proves me wrong when I do let the worry get to me. He is always making progress and is a constant reminder of what the word patience means. Its not a noun its a verb.
Happy late Mama's Day to all the Mamas out there who live every day for their children. Who put off getting dolled up and wearing makeup to get messy and dirty with their kiddos. Who lose sleep worrying about their little ones. Who take pride in a mastered first word, or first steps. Who constantly have a mental list of what their child needs or what they can do to improve the well being of their children. Who work/go to school with little ones, or even the moms who stay home all day with their kiddos-we all know that is a full time job in itself. You are all appreciated and us mamas can all learn from each other.
This little boy lights up my life...