Let me just start off with this-I am a really nice, genuine, positive person that has good intentions-most of the time, nobody's perfect. But I feel like this always gets me hurt. I hate not having the man parts to stand up for myself and call somebody out who is being crappy to me. I will for anyone I love that is being hurt-I am the first person to be like, "Oh no they didn't, I will go give them a piece of my mind." But for me, I can't. I feel like I try with people, check in, pray for them, be there for them-and all i get is nothing. Its too exhausting, and I'm no longer letting it consume my thoughts.
I am so tired of friends or lack there of coming in and out of my life when it is convenient for them. There is a saying, and we've all heard it: You know who your true friends are when things in your life aren't peachy, and they still stick around. I found this out the hard way-yet I'm glad I did. I I am almost 25 years old, and am a mama and wife and a full time student. I am literally not in a place in my life to chase friends around and constantly make sure they are doing okay, just to know they will be there for me. I have a few good friends in my life that I know would be there, but the other
friends or acquaintances or whatever they are honestly do not deserve my attention. I am so over it. I am so happy I have lots of sisters and brothers. I really think they are the only ones who I can trust completely. That makes me want to have lots of kids so they know their brothers and sisters will always be there for them.
I am also sick of seeing how Josh is treated by people at work and those around him in general. He has the kindest, sweetest, loving heart and all he wants is for the same in return. He is always the only one making an effort, and like I said above, how if its someone I love, I will give them a piece of my mind-well I am literally about ready to do that. He works his butt off for us, and nobody gives him credit, or tries to check in with him to see how he is doing and make sure he is okay.
I am also sick of seeing my Mom struggle after she's gone home from her stroke and is just suffering because those around her are selfish assholes. When you say for better or worse, you better mean it and help her out. Or you too, will soon be hearing a piece of my mind.
I hate that with some people in my life there is always a price, a cost.. You either are trying to be nice or your not. No in between. No throwing it in my face later on down the road. No offering then taking it back. Ah.
I also am really pissed off that someone cut Levi's hair and is not telling me. Josh and I noticed it the other day (because we were trying to grow it out) and someone chopped it, and needless to say it looks awful. Its not so much that the action itself is upsetting me. At this point, I just feel like we are being lied to blatantly. You made a mistake, admit it and apologize. I don't understand how someone can lie when it comes to my child, while he is in their care. It really makes me question things. I don't think I'm the only mama who would be upset about this? The worst is not knowing who did it!
Along with the topic of Levi, I am tired of everyone's opinions about my parenting, and the choices I make. I think I am making good damn choices and Levi is doing great. If you don't like it, go have a baby and control their life. If I ask you to do things certain ways, please just do it. Don't judge me because I buy expensive sunscreen for Levi so I can be sure it has no chemicals in it, don't judge me because he eats organic foods, don't judge me because I don't let him watch TV, and certainly don't judge me because I am who I am. If I don't ask for advice, please stop giving it. Don't say my kid is stuck up my butt because when he's upset he wants me, don't tell me I take things too seriously, don't say I need to just let him eat peanut butter already. Stop!
Can anyone agree with why these things upset me? Or am I just a crazy, sensitive girl?
I am sorry if this was an overwhelming post. But sometimes you can only take so much. And other times it helps to just write it out and get it off your chest. Be careful in those storms ya'll. Josh is picking up a movie, some junk food and batteries. I am actually kind of looking forward to it.