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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Rain, rain go ahead and stay...

Rain, I feel it on my finger tips, hear it on my window pane. Your love’s coming down like rain…. 


I actually don't mind the rain today. Maybe because I'm able to be home with my baby which means extra cuddling, or maybe because it means Spring is here. :)

Do you ever have one of those days where you just question what your purpose is in your life? I mean along the lines of a career, what will be the most fullfilling job that makes you happy and can support your family financially? Josh and I had one of those days yesterday. He despises his job, but it pays the bills. I despise school, and am not even 100% sure that teaching is the best career for me, but I love kids, and the perks of the job are what I want. So it should be that simple. But then why do I always question it? Is it because I am so over school that its hard to focus on the end result? Is it because I don't have any clue what I'm getting into? The fear of the unknown is always scary for me. But, I'm just not sure I'm headed in the direction that I should be. Sometimes I really think I should choose a career that will keep my creative juices flowing and push me to discover new talents I may have. But is that a smart decision, or worth the risk for my family's sake? What would I do anyway?

Ugh.

Then there's Josh. My heart hurts for him sometimes because I know he hates his job. But, it is all the income we have that pays our bills. We would be screwed without it at this point, until I finish school. Josh has aspirations and dreams, but obtaining them are tricky for us. The NAVY pays for his school, but he can't go unless its full time since he has a time limit for the money. In that case, he would have to balance a full time job, and school. But can he do that? I think he can. He doesn't. Then there's the option of re-upping in the NAVY and working towards a career with them. But is that really what he wants to do? Or is it the smarter decision? It's confusing to find a balance. He would love to do sports therapy and I think he should work towards that goal in school...But then how will we pay our bills until we finish? You see the dilemma? Geesh. Its like a midlife crisis over here...

We really don't know.
A rainy day is a perfect day to think about it.
Its not an easy decision..but we will work on it.

On another note...

Next week are finals, and I am DONE. Thank you Jesus! I will have a month off, then Summer Semester begins.
xoxo

-Prayers for Boston-
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