Favorite photo day...

A favorite photo of yourself and why
Well I take wayyyyy too many pictures. There are three that pop into mind so here goes...

I like this picture because i was skinny young and free. This picture kind of represents who I am. Coffee cup (a Christmas one at that), a good book and being outside. I was about to go on a date with my then boyfriend, now husband and we were going fishing. Those were some good ole days :)

I love this picture. It has always been one of my favorites. Josh and I had only been dating a few months and I remember this night being so fun on my parent's deck out back. We all just drank some beers and hung out. I obviously wasn't shy to be myself since I'm wearing sweats and two kinds of reds that look awful together haha. But we both look so happy.

Obviously this picture quality is not good, and was taken on my phone before I had a nice phone, and before instagram. But I still love this picture. This was taken on my actual due date, (Oct 4th) and Levi was still cookin'. I wanted to get out of the house so Josh took me fishing. This was our last date before meeting our little man. If you want to see how much of a basketball Levi was, look below..

That's all :)

Babies & Textbooks

Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
Okay I'm late on this whole blog every day in May. I haven't been blogging every day, but i've been reading blogs every day, that counts right? Right.
Something difficult about my "lot in life" right now is this whole being a Mama and finishing my degree right now. Honestly I try not to complain because I do get more time home with Levi than I would working a full time job, and I get to have my family and close friends watch him while I'm in class. That in itself is pretty cool. But at the same time it is really tough. I hate not being able to help provide for my family. Lets be honest if my Hubs was a doctor I would love to stay home with my babes and take on that role, but my Hubs isn't a doctor, and well that's not an option for us. Which is completely fine with me. Its hard to sit back and watch my Husband work tons of overtime to provide for us. He is physically and mentally exhausted. I recently found out I have 2.5 years rather than over a year to finish. Don't get me started about advisors and their inability to provide correct information. I have about had it with inaccurate plans advisors have given me in my schooling.
I did the whole search a hundred jobs online with my partially finished degree and other options to just get out of school and work. Nothing is realistic or long term and would help our family a few years from now. So my husband and I talked and decided welp the best option for us long term is for me to finish my degree and Josh stay at this job until i'm finished. If we have to be tight on money for a few more years, God will provide. My heart hurts because I know what its like to be at a job you hate, and josh hates his job. But what can ya do? He's such a trooper and rarely complains.
I really feel like God has a plan for me to finish my Special Ed Degree and I keep praying the reward is greater in the end. If I can only trust God's plan and have faith in the end product, we can make it through. Instead of focusing on the school debt I keep piling up and the credit card debt and lalalalala I'll be able to push through. I know in the end it will all be worth it. But this point in our life is tough. Its stressful. Its straining. Its not ideal. And its hard with a toddler for real for real. But... I'm thankful for my faith, for my supportive husband, family and friends, and the strength to make it to the end. And the end will come. Hopefully sooner than later.  :)

Patience is a verb--

It has been a while since I've blogged and since yesterday was Mother's Day and I actually did pictures, I figured why not share my day/thoughts about being a Momma.
Levi and I have shared our second Mother's Day yesterday-Well three if you count when I was pregnant.
He has brought me so much joy and an undescribable love that touches my soul.
It is a kind of love that is refreshing, every single day. In those moments of pure mama exhaustion, worry and stress, Levi manages to throw his arms around my neck and kiss my cheek, or laugh so hard for minutes upon minutes. These are the moments that refresh me and keep me going.

Levi and I connect on a level that literally takes my breath away sometimes because even after 19 months + 9 carrying him, it is still surreal to me that I am a mama to this amazing little boy...and it feels like such a gift and a blessing.

I already believe in him, and his abilities. I know he is going to be an amazing kid, because he already is. I relate so much to his personality already and it is only the beginning.

Sometimes I notice others placing judgements on Levi because he is 19 months and not independently walking yet, only says a small handful of words, and doesn't verbally answer to what the animals or shapes are etc etc. But I think of it as a math problem: This is my kid:

Never cries or throws tantrums

+

Takes naps and goes night night with no problems, soothing himself

+

Chooses to eat fruits and veggies over snacky foods

+

Knows a few signs for sign language

+

Slept eight hours through the night as a newborn and now sleeps 12

+

Takes two naps a day

+

Would rather snuggle and kiss or play outside than watch a TV show

+

Loves brushing his teeth, reading bedtime stories, and taking baths

+

Rides in the car silently and travels great with no crying or fussing and only a few toys to keep him company

+

Warms up to strangers within minutes

+

Mama & Daddy have very laid back personalities

EQUALS:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The most laid-back, easy going toddler I know.

He is so smart and may not be saying 20 words but understands what we say. He may not be walking yet, but he sure knows how-and when he's ready he will. He may take his time with everything he does, but since when is that a negative? I think its a positive thing. Growing up is not a race. Levi has taught me this :)

I get frustrated when people underestimate him or try to constantly test him to see where he's at because if they knew him they would know that he gets it.

He is so so smart and always proves me wrong when I do let the worry get to me. He is always making progress and is a constant reminder of what the word patience means. Its not a noun its a verb.

Happy late Mama's Day to all the Mamas out there who live every day for their children. Who put off getting dolled up and wearing makeup to get messy and dirty with their kiddos. Who lose sleep worrying about their little ones. Who take pride in a mastered first word, or first steps. Who constantly have a mental list of what their child needs or what they can do to improve the well being of their children. Who work/go to school with little ones, or even the moms who stay home all day with their kiddos-we all know that is a full time job in itself. You are all appreciated and us mamas can all learn from each other.

This little boy lights up my life...

xoxo

My barefoot, blue eyed baby

My little man was my date yesterday on me and Josh's anniversary. Josh worked all day and so I took my blue eyed baby to Highbanks to explore. This hat would not stay on. It was either the wind blowing it away, or Levi's need to throw it on the ground. My kid does not like hats or shoes. He fought me on the shoes and finally I gave in. 

Levi's hair is my weakness. I know we should cut it so he's not walking around like a little mullet baby, but its just gorgeous. The longer it gets, the more curls start bouncing and I can't get enough of it. The curls are more towards the back where a mullet may or may not be forming. :) 

We played a lot of hide and seek around the picnic tables. Levi is still not walking, so he is most comfortable cruising around things he can grab onto. Hence us staying close to the picnic tables.

I found you Mom!

Levi was infatuated with these flowers and wanted to keep putting them on my head. Yeah, that's his new thing. Putting objects on people's heads. :)

Levi wanted to be in the grass at all times. He liked to pick up the sticks and the flowers and was in his own little world. I love, love how much he enjoys the outdoors.

Such a boy :)

Definitely got the Cosgrove butt and height :) Love it! Oh, isn't that jumper to die for? 

Cheesin'

Those feet.

That was our Tuesday, and my Anniversary.

Josh and I will be going to a show at The Basement tonight and are seeing Ivan & Alyosha. Josh found this band all on his own, figured I would like it, sneakily played them for me and realized I actually did like them...then he was too much of a kid and told me our surprise date before our Anniversary. Haha. He's worse than me. So that's our plan tonight.

His work schedule has changed to six 10 hr shifts a week, with Sundays off. BOO. Apparently its temporary, so it should be interesting to see how this plays out. Although, I'm trying to see the positive here. Overtime pay and guaranteed Sundays off so we can now make it to church regularly. Also a little extra money to pay down some debt will definitely be a good thing. 

Oh, and Levi has finally figured out how to put Legos together instead of just pulling them apart. And he is now saying all gone and okay. Its kind of hard to tell, but its easier to understand since he is saying them more consistently!

Time to crank out final preparations.

Happy Wednesday.

xoxo

Two years and its only getting better...

Mr. & Mrs. Two years.

Two years ago I married my sweetheart. 

The wedding was one we planned in a matter of 2 months after we found out we were expecting a little bundle of joy. The long engagement, summer wedding on the beach was immediately put aside and reality took the reigns. After only being engaged for a matter of months and then BAM we're expecting was a lot to take in at first. Morning sickness all day every day, planning the wedding, going to tastings, trying on dresses was a nightmare. Planning this wedding wasn't all i had hoped. But it was important to me to focus on the end result rather than how glamorous I wanted the planning to be. Since l was already planning on marrying Josh before we found out about Levi, it was important to me to tie the knot before Levi came. A lot of factors played into this decision. But mostly, I wanted this day to be about us. Not the stresses of being new parents, and all the financial strain a baby can put on a relationship at first. I wanted our day to be just the two of us, before chaos took over. Selfish or not, I think it was the right decision. Although, looking back, I could have totally planned a wedding with a newborn, because Levi was the easiest baby ever! Ironically enough, after literally puking for 13 weeks straight, the last time I felt sick was early in the morning of our wedding day. After that I was feeling awesome, and morning sickness never crept up again. :)

So we weren't necessarily planning a "first look" until I saw Josh at the park getting his pictures done and I was actually there too, on the other side getting mine done. I saw him from a distance and literally wanted to go and kiss him. At that point the magical, romantical, whimsical, or what have you of him seeing me for the first time down the isle didn't matter. I wanted to see him right away. So this picture is me literally sneaking up behind him in the middle of his session.

This was my favorite moment of the day. It was perfect. 

So the weather. Let's talk about that shall we? It was a gorgeous warm, overcast day. The sun peeked out a few times and I was so hopeful my outdoor wedding in a garden would take place. But low and behold, while we were driving to the ceremony, a downpour made its presence  I mean an all out, branches falling off trees, not being able to see in front of you downpour. I was crushed. As we pulled up I saw all the chairs set up outside and it looked so beautiful with the flowers blooming and the leaves turning green. But unless all my guests wore rainboots and had umbrellas I couldn't expect them to be outside. Although I did think about it. And I almost said forget everyone else, I want to be married outside! I was told that was irrational thinking. So our backup plan was to go inside the reception and move the tables to the side. I didn't have time to double-check all the tables since guests were already arriving so I crossed my fingers, and took a deep breath and reminded myself rain is good luck, so go with it.

 Josh was pretty teary during the whole reception. Let me tell ya, this man rarely expresses his emotion to the public, and rarely to me so I loved every moment of the ceremony and could just look into his eyes and know he loved me so much.

Now me on the other hand, I did not cry. I did not even tear up. My heart was just so happy and I could not stop smiling and being giddy. I couldn't wait to be Mrs. Hicks.

We did it!

This is by far I think, my favorite picture. It is framed in b&w on our mantle now. I just adore the love and honesty that was captured during our first dance.

The father-daughter dance. I love this picture for the same reason I loved the one above. I love my dad so much and I love that this photo captures it. 

Once the rain stopped (which was right after the ceremony, go figure), we went outside and got a few shots. Yes, I wore yellow chucks during the reception :)

Our ceremony was supposed to be under that gazebo. Still bitter. :) 

Sistas.

Through it all, every day really does get a little easier and sweeter. In our first year of marriage, heck even our engagement, we were thrown some curve balls. And we honestly just held onto each other and made it through every hardship or challenge that has come our way. This man is my best friend, my other half and I know he will be there holding my hand when every dream of ours comes true. I may not have cried on my wedding day, but there are many moments when i tear up thinking about how lucky I am to have this man in my life. Not only is he the Husband I cherish, but he is also the Father I could only hope for. He is an all around amazing man and I am so glad God sent him my way. :) With every day we grow closer and closer as one and I can only pray that this continues through our life together. 

xoxo

Rain, rain go ahead and stay...

Rain, I feel it on my finger tips, hear it on my window pane. Your love’s coming down like rain…. 



I actually don't mind the rain today. Maybe because I'm able to be home with my baby which means extra cuddling, or maybe because it means Spring is here. :)

Do you ever have one of those days where you just question what your purpose is in your life? I mean along the lines of a career, what will be the most fullfilling job that makes you happy and can support your family financially? Josh and I had one of those days yesterday. He despises his job, but it pays the bills. I despise school, and am not even 100% sure that teaching is the best career for me, but I love kids, and the perks of the job are what I want. So it should be that simple. But then why do I always question it? Is it because I am so over school that its hard to focus on the end result? Is it because I don't have any clue what I'm getting into? The fear of the unknown is always scary for me. But, I'm just not sure I'm headed in the direction that I should be. Sometimes I really think I should choose a career that will keep my creative juices flowing and push me to discover new talents I may have. But is that a smart decision, or worth the risk for my family's sake? What would I do anyway?

Ugh.

Then there's Josh. My heart hurts for him sometimes because I know he hates his job. But, it is all the income we have that pays our bills. We would be screwed without it at this point, until I finish school. Josh has aspirations and dreams, but obtaining them are tricky for us. The NAVY pays for his school, but he can't go unless its full time since he has a time limit for the money. In that case, he would have to balance a full time job, and school. But can he do that? I think he can. He doesn't. Then there's the option of re-upping in the NAVY and working towards a career with them. But is that really what he wants to do? Or is it the smarter decision? It's confusing to find a balance. He would love to do sports therapy and I think he should work towards that goal in school...But then how will we pay our bills until we finish? You see the dilemma? Geesh. Its like a midlife crisis over here...

We really don't know.

A rainy day is a perfect day to think about it.

Its not an easy decision..but we will work on it.

On another note...

Next week are finals, and I am DONE. Thank you Jesus! I will have a month off, then Summer Semester begins.

xoxo

-Prayers for Boston-

Educate yourself.

I have been constantly reading articles, research, books, etc about wellness in general. From toxins, gluten, chemicals, nutrition, you name it. I am slowly becoming very educated in this area. I have always eaten pretty well. But, I am slowly transitioning into a gluten free diet. First off, I know how awful gluten is for you. Especially for a baby whose brain is still developing and well- I just don't want to take the risk.

Everyone should read up on http://gaps.me/ and it explains how a poor gut flora as a newborn could lead to issues down the road. Poor gut flora comes from the mom and grandmother and this can be given to the baby. If the baby is receiving vaccines at birth, not being breastfed etc and their baby has a poor gut flora, this links directly to ADHD, Autism, learning diabilities, mood disorders, allergies, eczema, schizophrenia, tummy aches etc. Most don't know, but your gut and your brain are connected and it is very important to realize what toxins, and foods go into your gut, affect your brain. So having a baby, I really think this is crucial to their overall well-being. Also, the GAPS test can be done at birth and it is $180 dollars. It is non invasive. The urine, stool is tested. It can tell you right away if the baby's gut flora is good or not. It has a lot to do with their immune system as well (your gut and brain are connected) and if the test comes back poor-baby's should NOT receive vaccines at all until their gut flora is healthy. If they do, this has a very negative impact on the baby- Some develop these issues I mentioned above later down the road. So Moms and future moms, take care of your gut because it WILL be passed on to your baby and the numbers in ADHD kids and Autism and other disabilities will increase, and statistics will rise. Stop the cycle now! I only wish I knew this when I was pregnant-although I ate a pretty organic, healthy diet- I still would have benefited knowing this information.

Fact: Purchasing from bigger names such as Tyson, Egglands Best etc are not good choices. They pump their cows, chickens, pigs etc with hormones (this is why girls are starting their periods a lot earlier these days) and steroids that YOU and your children are ingesting. Milk, Cheese, Eggs, Meat need to be organic to steer away from the toxins and additives in their foods.

Moving forward...

I've cut out a lot of gluten, but I think I'm going to cut out all wheat for good in our family's diet. Its too hard on tummies to digest. There are no health benefits from wheat, or the whole grains a lot of healthy ads push. No benefits. The fiber can be maintained through other food sources. Gluten free diets are nothing but beneficial to everyone. I feel good knowing Levi is eating really well and the foods he eats will keep his insides clean and toxic free. I still have a few foods I need to transition into organic, GMO free and I should be on a good path.

Also, I've researched a lot on cleaning supplies-the chemicals in them are just too dangerous. So I looked up natural cleaners and its amazing how things you have at home already can do the job. i.e.-hot water, vinegar, lemons, etc. http://eartheasy.com/live_nontoxic_solutions.htm Scroll down to homemade cleaner solutions. SIMPLE!

Skin care. Too many chemicals as well. I've already switched Levi to Baby Bee (Burts Bees) and Josh and I use Burts Bees Citrus and Ginger body wash. 99% Natural. I've had a hard time with Shampoo and Conditioner because I have very thick hair. So right now I use Suave-With rosemary and mint. (I'm still looking for an all natural product that works) For moisturizer, we mostly use pure 100% Coconut Oil, which already has AMAZING benefits period. Levi uses Baby Bee lotion as it really helps his dry patches he gets sometimes. http://www.treehugger.com/htgg/how-to-go-green-natural-skin-care.html

The list goes on and on: Sunscreen, Plastic toys and bottles, Public Places etc. Every parent is their child's advocate and it is our job to keeps as many toxins out of our children-since we already live in such a toxic world- and keep them healthy and keep ourselves healthy.

Goals: (Personal)
My next areas that need change are pretty simple.

Drink warm water with lemon every morning. (I struggle with this. Its easier to grab ice cold water)
Prepare detox water in a pitcher for every day.
Get a better purifier.
Replace one meal a day with a green smoothie, or Juicing.
Go to a whole foods store once a week for items on my grocery list that aren't sold at the local Kroger. (Lunch meat, Beef) I've cut these out of our diet, but I simply can continue these if I go to Whole Foods/Trader Joes!
Freeze organic fruit so I have it during the off seasons.
Take my Omega supplements daily.
Continue getting fresh air every day, and Vitamin D 10-15 minutes a day. (This is easier with the warm weather, but it is also very important for our brain health)

How to shop Organic on a Budget: Check out this: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=740
A lot of people immediately say buying healthy is too expensive.
There are ways to shop on a budget by simply cutting out the processed foods and referring to the dirty dozen. http://www.organic.org/articles/showarticle/article-214 The most contaminated foods should be organic and the least contaminated don't always need to be organic. Think about what your family eats the most when it comes to berries and vegetables. Those should be organic. Also, seek out local natural farmers markets. The prices are very affordable and you know exactly where your food is coming from.